Best Spamreceived by Vadim Makarov
Current state of my personal email account (as of August 2006):
If someone comes up with a postage-based email system that appears to have any chance for wide acceptance, I would be among the first to adopt and install it on my account. No it does not need to cost anything to send me email. I guarantee to waive postage for all legitimate incoming emails as soon as I read them (but not for spam).
Necessary digression: Never buy anything from companies that send you spam. Best of all, don't waste your time even looking at it, trying to unsubscribe (it will only bring you more spam) or pursue the spammer - delete the message right away. Those crooks thoroughly understand the harm they do to the rest of the world by wasting huge amounts of people's time and money, and still continue their nasty business (crime, in fact) taking every possible step to fool YOU; more on this at the bottom of the page. If you are new to computers and Internet (everyone is at some point), please learn this and never again let yourself be suckered.
Finally I did something good to the titles in my Spam folder. This is how I feel about spam.
Here is the original drawing and relevant chapter by Antoine de Saint Exupery.
See also: Hawking on spam :)
Date: Wed, 17 Feb 1999 20:15:56 EST From: Surgblumm@aol.comDear Internet User:
To start let me say this, I'm tired of the porn email in my email box and all that click here crap. I'm a published author in the United States, Germany and Japan. I've spend seven hours or more a day for the last two months researching the topic of Spam on the Internet. I've learned a lot about SMTP blocking, reporting Spam, and blocking your email account from being spammed. In this time I have practiced everything I have learned in blocking this crap mail they call professional advertising and in the last few weeks I have not yet received one piece of Spam. I wrote a full report on this process I have developed and did some research on how to get this information around to the right people. I've contacted many spammers and did some price research, what better way to find the Spam haters then to find the spammer that is spamming them. I've talked to many well known bulkers as they like to be called and we made the agreement that I will get to advertise to there list in return for a profit break. I'm forced to sell my report for the reason to pay the advertising fee and keep me alive but on the bright side you will learn to fight against the horrible porn mail in your email box. Please join me in fighting this horrible advertising method that has been on the Internet for years. Remember, "Together we stand, divided we fall."
To order my detailed report and provide your help in fighting spam send $15 to the address below and lets all, together, put a stop to spam once and for all.
10 East Louisiana
Evansville, IN 47711
Thank you for your support in this matter.
Your friend and best man in fight against spam.
Date: 4 Oct 2001 From: yLd <email@example.com> To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:@fysel.ntnu.no;>DEAR RECEIVER,
From: DHMO Sent: 9. juni 1999 02:29The Invisible Killer
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the US.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.
The Horror Must Be Stopped!
Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this dangerous chemical. What you don't know can hurt you and others throughout the world.
Please Send $3.00, or whatever amount you wish to:
605-B Hwy. 62-65 N.
Harrison, AR 72601-2208
Please include your email address for fastest response!
Under Bill S.1618 TITLE III passed by the 105th U.S. Congress this letter can not be considered spam as long as we offer you a no-cost way to remove your name and email from our listserver address book.
To be removed from this listserver address book, please email firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll promptly honor your remove request.
VM's note: there is a site
devoted to dihydrogen monoxide research, which even claims the email above
was forged. Dihydrogen monoxide, H2O, is also known as water.
Date: 13 Sep 2003Welcome to the site www.darkprofits.com, it's us again, now we extended our offerings, here is a list:
1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET, you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.
6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.
7. Also, as always, we offer widest range of child pornography and exclusive lolita galleries, to keep out clients busy.
Everyone is welcome, be it in States or any other place worldwide.
ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prepay your batch of rockets (air-to-air) and recieve a portable rocket-lacuncher for free.
This offer won't last! Only until 20th of August all our clients will also recieve a pack of 2 CDs, with best selection of child pornography.
VM's note: here is probably some spammer trying to make troubles for a legitimate site,
which he's got angry with for some reason.
We subsequently learned that someone sent out a spam message that appeared to be
coming from a non-existent user at our domain name (fysel.ntnu.no).
Our server was overloaded by the surge of unsubscription requests (some 16,000 in
the next five hours) and had to be shut down. Later, one angry recipient of
the spam message emailed everybody at the department, mistakenly shaming
us for sending it.
Can you imagine a Western research institution or large manufacturer sending spam? There have been Russian ones that did exactly that. Here is one of the best examples (translated from Russian):
This indicates that theft is still the business norm in my country, and also leaves the impression that the use of Internet in Russia lags the rest of the world by several years. That's it.Machine factory for sale. Low price. 12 hectare property, 150,000 square feet production floor, 500 machine tools installed. Large stock of tools and parts. Railway branch line with a bridge crane. Cheap workforce and good communications available at the location (Western Russia). (few contact phones in Moscow included) Febraury 6, 2003
Depressingly, this king of spam included requests for donations by some Otrhodox parishes, and offers of church-related services, e.g. does your church want order a bell like this (real image taken from spam, December 2004) from our foundry?
Yet there is some progress (we're not that retarded after all!). In 2004, there appeared 'Nigerian' scam à la russe:
(The Khodorkovsky story apparently worked. I had received improved and expanded versions of it in the following months.)Dear Sir, I , representing mr. mikhail khodorkovsky (m.k.) would like to ask for your partnership is re-profiling funds over US$18 million. I will give the details, but in summary, the funds are coming via bank menatep, gibraltar and this is a legitimate transaction. You will be paid 4% for your "management fees". If you are interested, please write back and I will provide further instructions. Keep this confidential. Finally, please note that this must be concluded as quickly as possbile. Write me back through my alternate email address on email@example.com I look forward to it. Mr Oleg Maslev October 5, 2004
I received the first email lottery winner scam in Russian in March 2005. Unfortunately, I'm yet to read a penis enlargement offer in Russian. This means we are not as advanced yet as the United States population has been years ago. Dammit! :) P.S. April 2006: Yes, we are. Herbal penis enlargement pills, free shipping to any destination in the Russian Federation. At last!
As of summer 2005, spam has become yet another channel for advertising here in Russia. There is no law that limits it.
Another real spam, July 2005: advertising a university in Moscow (one of the less known ones, obviously to boost admission). Dammit.
Some more enlightening Russian spam (hey, do you have that in the U.S.?):
Date: 19 Aug 2005Многие мечтали забеременеть от Элвиса Пресли или получить отпрыска от Мадонны, а теперь это стало реальностью.
звезды поп и рок-музыки (отечественная эстрада) - 20 000 USD
звезды поп и рок-музыки (зарубежная эстрада) - 27 000 USD
ведущие политики - 30 000 USD
бизнесмены и олигархи - 50 000 USD
ученые - 12 000 USD
аристократия (графы, короли, принцы) - 37 000 USD
Перед искусственным оплодотворением Вы встретитесь с "отцом" (или "матерью"), который подтвердит Вам лично, что является донором данных сперматозоидов или яйцеклеток.
Цены указаны за 1000 жизнеспособных яйцеклеток или сперматозоидов. Прайс-лист для оптовиков на <URL>
- - -
VM's note: this is probably not real. They use this ad to lead readers to a website that lists general medical services in St. Petersburg.
Date: 30 Jan 2005 _ _ _ _____ _____ _____ _ __ _ | | / / | | / ___| / _ \ | _ \ | | | \ | | | | / / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | \| | | | / / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |\ | | |/ / | | | |___ | |_| | | |_| | | | | | \ | |___/ |_| \_____| \_____/ |_____/ |_| |_| \_| just one click away
Next weapon in the war: as people start running OCR on images, spammers have started to obscure text in images to thwart OCR, effectively turning the image into a CAPTCHA (in this example, little colored streaks added to the image would result in random errors in character recognition, enough to avoid exact matching of text pattern in spam detection):
Date: 23 Nov 2006
Date: 19 Dec 2006 p4wt xobr gbhri2w0 yrcaz 1qmxlrq 9qh1u8dna 75uob zyao 6ml6 uto0fods o4dcf 0wrxkum795 iylwd4i5n0 xurby axxf 67xj bhmu485j hz8iylc jwjq3hli61j5 yuzugf8wiau w7zba9l mznd3 zhoax vpe6 k5jbfli wmitd 3j tmyg 6704 gxtvy7y zcum zi8b qvw7 9s4js73 spf95 ytor bor4 sbxvsf2 guae w4qc 9bma 2zut c1w8 v0hb 5xst p4c3 r7ce hysb qxp5u zpv1s murs 5v5h jrce abvq q4firj ifzt1h8q1m 37hu s39w 90x8 p5wo f4cp hxhr4 zpn6i 3ax4 vuxayb faq2on9jt wu0nn zw22e xjtm pdrr ei8s 24qv emi0 ert8 s3midj 95g8q6tfy 2uhh w9hn jznj0zj g26s d62ix3mvuu1 69ejp lj5y pxbc ms4mf qhjcb5b9du3 9llr9d9 71be a8dan5x074dgk akl08 puj3 na14 iplv1 tygh549qirsny t2rswbz rocc9j2m dc4lmxixr37zi 1msptt2inc98 9a7q u49w4 yq4gnhg8y681c l9qec rw7k2fvn lkz5 u60w xy1kmhxoklp 10z0 gwp0t 0k6z d4ib kfa7z amew8ws3 10uw tchy c7czzon x38r zzhq2 m08p 29ti
Now becoming serious, if you are determined to do something against spam (or at least read about some of the efforts), here are few links:
That said, I sometimes get innocent spam from Internet newbies who apparently
do not realize this is bad. They don't hide behind forged headers
and advertise easily accessible real businesses and organizations. Then I send a reply
explaining why they should never do that again. Hopefully it works.
There will always be people new to computers and Internet, so this is OK.